It won’t always be this way

July 3, 2024

“Nothing paralyzes our lives like the attitude that things can never change.”
~ Warren Wiersbe

I am naturally an optimistic person. I think my optimism bugs some people, but one of my favorite phrases is, ‘it won’t always be this way’. That’s actually a great phrase of comfort for a lot of things in life — my own experience included. I have endured several uncomfortable elements of the process of chemo — but I can always say to myself, it won’t always be this way, I won’t be on chemo forever.

However, some things happen in our lives that actually will always be this way, some people are on chemo for life; some have lost a loved one and that hole will always exist; some have a severely special need’s child who will always rely on them; some have faced a life-long debilitation from an accident. I actually have many friends moving forward in the midst of a difficult or painful situation that will remain for life and never really resolve to that hoped-for memory in the rearview mirror.

Those difficult situations require a bit more than a velvety phrase of optimistic encouragement. They actually require something we call perseverance! UGH! Perseverance is so much work. One definition of perseverance I had written in my journal years ago was, ‘the grit required to continue to press forward, despite opposition.’  That pretty much sums it up -- but where in the world do we drum up the grit? 

Well, you won’t be surprised at my answer — we need to ask the Lord for the grit, I mean, the kind of perseverance required to not only move forward, but serve the Lord and honor Him in the situations we find ourselves.

I have a couple thoughts, but first, let me share the entire quote from Warren Wiersbe, which I abbreviated above:

“Nothing paralyzes our lives like the attitude that things can never change. We need to remind ourselves that God can change things. Outlook determines outcome. If we see only the problems, we will be defeated; but if we see the possibilities in the problems, we can have victory.” (Warren Wiersbe) 

Even though our circumstances might not change externally, God can change our outlook internally — and that IS change — that IS God changing things.

What are some ways God changes our outlook on life? I’ve thought of three:

Our Soul: When the Psalms mentions our soul it generally refers to our emotions and our thoughts — what we think about and what we feel. When we get that sinking feeling that things will always be this way, the lion’s share of our battle is mental. The Psalms often remind us to intentionally point our soul to God, as in this Psalm from  my reading line-up today: 

To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies* exult over me. Psalm 25:1-2 (*Where the enemy is represented by some difficulty  that will never go away in our life.)

Our Expectations: Note the excellent advice from Mr. Wiersbe: “If we see only the problems, we will be defeated; but if we see the possibilities in the problems, we can have victory. The Apostle Paul said the same thing with a different vocabulary,

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (1 Corinthians 12:9-11)

Our Tribe: God never intended us to walk through life solo, He fashioned the body in such a way that we suffer together and rejoice together. By tribe, I obviously mean the part of the Body of Christ that you regularly hang with. Having a tribe that knows your difficulty and yet will encourage you with regard to your soul and your expectations means the world. Look how Paul conveyed this (and how one sweet friend that I’ve never met encouraged me this week):

If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. (1 Corinthians 12:26)

Paul’s words above end on a positive tone, but The Preacher’s words in Ecclesiastes end with a sober warning on the same subject of finding and cultivating that tribe before the need arises: 

“If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:10)

The summary is that some of our suffering won’t always be this way — and some of our suffering will remain. But that doesn't mean that God can’t change our suffering into something useful, doable, profitable, if we remember to lift up our soul, submit our expectations and find our tribe!  

Yesterday I made a stop at chemo station 6 of 16 — 10 more to go, which is a mental challenge for me. This is where I need perseverance to stay the course and GET IT DONE! And this is where I need to say thank you once again to my tribe — those whom I know and those whom I don’t but who are a continual source of encouragement. You are the best tribe in the world!

My Love,

Sue

sue@ccontario.com

When Life Leaves You Flattened

June 26, 2024

“The LORD preserves the simple; 
      when I was brought low, he saved me." 
~ Psalm 116:6

Last week’s post was all about raising an Ebenezer, recognizing what God has accomplished in our lives in order to build up our faith for the future. In that post, I was thanking the Lord for helping me through phase one of my treatment. I was sincere when I wrote it last week and I’m still thankful, even though the day after that post was published I experienced my hardest day yet. 

In cancer treatment, it can be difficult to predict exactly when a few too many side-effects will collide to create a perfect storm. The same is true for life in general — it can be difficult to predict when a few too many challenges will collide to flatten us to about 15% of ourselves. And that’s where I was last Thursday — about 15% of myself.

Before we go on, I want to mention a few things: 1) I’m back up to about 90% as I write this, 2) My oncologist told me yesterday that the first phase of chemo I took was probably the most difficult of all therapies across the entire cancer spectrum — glad he didn’t tell me that up front, 3) I never wanted to drag you through the grit of treatment and I still don’t (however, I am available to share with anyone who might be a few laps behind me on this path — message me),  4) I tend to turn everything into a learning experience and that’s why I titled this post, “When Life Leaves You Flattened.”

As I’ve been living in the Psalms this summer, one thing I’ve grown to re-appreciate about the Psalmists is their ability to both lay out the gritty truth of their situation and apply their trust in the Lord over the top of the grit. Here’s a good example that happened to be in my reading line-up last Thursday:

I cry to you, O Lord; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.”  Attend to my cry, for I am brought very low! Deliver me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me! Bring me out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name! (Psalm 142:5-7)

If you lay that petition over the top of your current troubles in life, it might seem a bit over-dramatic at first;  but I think we should resist that notion. When we are the ones suffering — it is dramatic, we are brought very low, we do need God’s deliverance, so that we can give thanks another day. 

Here are two thoughts in the midst of suffering through a current battle that has brought you low:

God never grows tired of us asking. He actually delights when we ask for deliverance, or help, or healing, or sustaining, or whatever word seems to fit. On my bad day, my eyes wouldn’t cooperate to either read a book or look at a screen and my body wouldn’t cooperate to move, so I sat in the recliner and prayed more that day than the whole previous week combined. A lot of my prayers were for me (like the psalmist), but I prayed for others as well — because we tend to recognize or remember the suffering of others when we are brought low.

Consider exactly who your enemy is and isn’t. My suffering was largely due to chemo drugs — but chemo is not my enemy — chemo is actually an ally in this battle, but in the moment everything I was suffering was a direct result of its presence in my life. Isn’t that the truth in our regular life battles? Your spouse is not your enemy, your teen is not your enemy, your toddler, your mother, your car repairs are not your enemy. But your suffering might be the direct result of their presence in your life. Still, they are not your enemy. 

The temptation exists to delete painful things out of our lives, even if they are not our enemy, just to get some relief. But this option is misguided. There is a remedy for pain and suffering and it’s the same remedy the Psalmists always employed — cry out to the Lord for help!

Again, I want to say that God was gracious to sustain me through a very low dip and I’m trusting He will do that in the future, should the need arise. I’m trusting He will also do it for you when you face pain or suffering, particularly from something or someone who isn’t your real enemy.

Yesterday I made the stop at station 5 of 16, which is the beginning of Phase Two for me and I’m assured from many advisors that this next phase will be kinder. I’m trusting the Lord through good days and bad days! 

My Love,

Sue

sue@ccontario.com

Ebenezer

 June 19, 2024

“Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by Thy help I’ve come." 
~ Robert Robinson

Have you ever played a word-association game where someone says a particular word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind? For example, if I say salt and you might respond with pepper; or if I say beach you might say tropical or Waikiki. What if I said Ebenezer? Many people might say Scrooge — but a few people with a sturdy hymn background might come back with ‘here I raise my…’ quoting from the familiar line in the hymn Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing (noted above).

It’s a great hymn with a great back story (that we’ll save for a different blog). If this hymn was part of your childhood, you probably sang about your Ebenezer long before you ever understood what an Ebenezer was. If you still don’t know, you’re about to learn! 

Remember that baby of Hannah’s (from our last post)? Samuel? Well, he grew up to be both a prophet and judge over the nation of Israel. During one particular battle with Israel’s nemesis neighbors, the Philistines, Samuel was able to unite the people to seek the Lord’s help and God responded in a mighty way:

But the LORD thundered with a mighty sound that day against the Philistines and threw them into confusion, and they were defeated before Israel.  And the men of Israel went out from Mizpah and pursued the Philistines and struck them... 1 Samuel 7:10-11 

That was awesome…a reason to rejoice for sure, but Samuel wanted to make sure they didn’t quickly forget about the Lord’s intervention, so:

Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, “Till now the LORD has helped us.” v.12 

That is the essence of an Ebenezer — marking the Lord’s help in our lives. I actually like the NIV rendering “Thus far the Lord has helped us”.

During retreats, I often encourage the ladies to reflect on what God has done in their lives. Our natural path is one of forgetfulness, so we need to be purposeful in recounting and celebrating God’s work. I think one of the best ways, one of the most natural ways, is to make use of regularly-occurring significant events in our lives as an opportunity to raise an Ebenezer. For example, on your birthday — take time to commemorate the specific work of God in your life in the previous year — raise some Ebenezers. New Year's Day might be another good opportunity, or the beginning or ending of a school year; whatever is significant in your rhythm of life. 

The beauty of raising an Ebenezer is obvious. The more we celebrate God’s help in the past, the more encouraged we will be to ask for His help in the future. God loves to help His kids and He loves for us to ask for His help. If you haven’t raised an Ebenezer recently (or ever) today would be a good time to do just that!

So, I have personally come to a significant moment to raise an Ebenezer — and that is the completion of phase one of my treatment — thus far has the Lord helped me!  Praise the Lord that phase is in the rearview mirror. Now I am encouraged to ask for His help for phase two, which will begin this coming Tuesday and run for twelve weeks. 

My prayer requests are the same: 1) that the chemo would be effective, 2) that I would stay healthy enough to stay on schedule, and 3) that I would embrace a season of rest.

Speaking of rest, Paul and I will be celebrating our 46th wedding anniversary on Sunday with a little get-away with our family. It all just sort of fell into place, so we’re going to take advantage of the blessing and we’ll be back in church the following Wednesday for another episode in Exodus!

My Love,

Sue

sue@ccontario.com

No Longer Sad

 June 12, 2024

“Hannah went her way and ate,

and her face was no longer sad." ~ 1 Samuel 1:18

Many people know the Biblical figure Hannah from the Old Testament. She was the mother of Samuel, the child given to the service of the Lord who later became a central figure in the days of David. There must be something about her life that resonates with people (women in particular) because, of all the Bible lessons I’ve taught, the narrative of Hannah is THE most popular by quite a bit. 

Perhaps Hannah personifies our human condition: 

• She was facing a certain brand of personal difficulty — not being able to conceive a child. We all face some type of personal difficulties in life as well. 

• She suffered from annoying interactions with those close to her — her husband meant well but his efforts to cheer her missed the mark — her rival purposefully provoked her — the spiritual figure in her world misunderstood her and accused her of being drunk. We also have irregular people in our lives that can cause similar irritations. 

All of the situations in Hannah’s life created a recipe for a nasty brew of emotions and, you guessed it, sometimes we also experience a nasty brew of emotions. But, the beauty of her story lies in the choices she made as to what to do with her emotions. 

Look how intense Hannah’s emotions were as she went to the Lord (1 Samuel 1:10-11) Hannah was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly. This was a woman carrying hard emotions and the reality is that we sometimes find our path filled with hard emotions. 

We can’t always control how we feel, but we can control what we do about how we feel. Hannah gives us a simple, yet profound example of what to do with hard emotions, the ONLY answer is to run to the Lord and pour out your soul (v.15). It’s okay to be in deep distress and to weep bitterly (v.10), to have great anxiety and vexation (v.16), those are real emotions, they’re hard emotions. But it’s not okay to be inconsolable and unable to receive refreshment from the Lord. 

In Hannah’s case, the very person who accused her of being a babbling drunk gave her a promise of the exact refreshment she was seeking! (v.17) Eli answered, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.”  How easy it would have been for emotions to rule the day and for her to lash out something to the effect that Eli understood nothing of what was going on in her life and how dare he even say anything to her! 

But Hannah instinctively knew something about the Lord that later Psalmists would write in many different ways — when a person cries out to the Lord, He hears!

Psalm 34:6 In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles. 

Hannah was looking for refreshment and willing to receive refreshment. I love how the episode at the temple is quickly wrapped up in v.18 Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad. Isn’t that a simple goal in life? To be no longer sad? The brief amount of verses in 1 Samuel 1 might threaten to over-simplify the matter, yet sometimes we naturally over-complicate the matter, so I’m okay with it.

 Maybe there is a nugget here for someone reading today. You might have small but hard emotions, or large and hard emotions. Maybe peeking into Hannah’s life it just the inspiration you need to take any of your hard emotions to the Lord. Or, maybe someone reading today needs a summer Bible study and 1 Samuel might be just the thing!

As for me, tomorrow’s stop on the chemo train will be station 4 of 16. This is the last time I’ll be stopping at a station exactly like this one and I’m pretty happy about that. Everything in me is hoping that the remaining stations (5-16) will be a little more pleasant somehow!

Thanks for following — sending you my love and blessings,

Sue

sue@ccontario.com

www.ccontario.com/wow-1samuel

Burger Season

 June 5, 2024

“But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her" 
~ 1 Samuel 1:5

The summer months have arrived and we’re all about to consume more backyard burgers than we bargained for! It’s all good — burgers are a staple of American social life and summer life.

I have opinions about burgers and I’m sure you do too. On our little local vacation Paul and I finally made it to the California-turned-Idaho IN-N-OUT Burgers in Meridian. Our family tribe  grabbed our boxes of burgers and walked over to enjoy them outdoors seated near the fountain in The Village. 

Now, IN-N-OUT has its place: nostalgia for some, budget friendly for others, and still others wouldn’t dream of going solo — it’s a social experience. It might not be your fav, but I would guess that you do have a favorite hamburger place, whether it’s a chain or a little drive-in — and if you really want a burger to savor — you know where you want to go!

My favorite burger on our end of the valley is actually at our local Japanese restaurant, Ogawas. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some rice bowls too, but I think their burgers are perfection. They use relatively thin, but large patties with crispy edges that extend beyond the border of the not-too-lofty bun (which eliminates the side-of-mouth ache in trying to open up too wide). And the accompanying fries are pretty good too. It’s a strange favorite burger place, but it’s mine. 

When our kids were little, the economic choices for our family were pretty much Wendy’s and Burger King.  I mean, we weren’t wealthy, but we didn’t have to resort to McDonalds.

Years later when our kids were still home, but grown, we hosted a young adults group called 18-28 in our home on Sunday nights. Paul considered it his favorite teaching time of the week. Coincidentally, McDonalds happened to be offering $.39 Sunday Cheeseburgers during that era, so after the Bible study dozens of young adults would toss all available loose change into a pile on the floor (along with anything found in my couch cushions). One or two guys would head over to McDs to pick up as many cheeseburgers as the cash pile could procure. 

On occasion, there would be an extra and someone would extend it in front of me with an 18yo smile and say, “Here Mrs. L, we brought you a cheeseburger”. What is one to do in that situation except smile back and say ‘thank you’?

There is a woman in the Bible that had her heart set on something important and basically had a couple of cheeseburgers extended to her. Well, it wasn’t exactly that way, but the beginning of 1 Samuel introduces us to Hannah, who had one craving in life, she desired to have a child. Her husband loved her, he knew her lack, he understood that she was barren, but the best he could come up with to encourage her was to offer her more cheeseburgers than he gave to the others. 

Actually here is what the text tells us: “On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb.” (1 Samuel 1:4-5)

There was no possible way that Elkanah could have fixed Hannah’s problem — only God could meet her need. The best he could do was to offer love and support his own way, albeit in a somewhat awkward way.  

When we have an ache in our hearts because something important is lacking in our life, or we are grieving a significant loss, people’s gestures of love and affirmation can fall short, but the point is they are gestures of love and affirmation, and they do have significant meaning and even healing properties! 

We’ll take a deeper look at Hannah’s life next week, but for this short devotion, our main point is don’t expect people around you to be God — they are not — they cannot fix what is wrong! Most of them are doing the best they can by offering love and support in whatever way they are able and sometimes we just need to soak in all of those acts of love a bit more. 

Proverbs 27:9 (NLV) says “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, so are a man’s words sweet to his friend.”

Whether you need to be the giver of a double portion right now, or more graciously receive the double portion — there is probably a message for all of us in Elkanah’s actions.

How does this relate to me? Well, I have truly received a mountain of encouragement from all  who have said, and done, and sent, and offered, and prayed their support my direction. I want to thank all of you and I want you to know that every single gesture is meaningful and healing, even if it doesn’t fix my core problem.

So, if a friend shows up at your door this week with two cheeseburgers — just smile, thank them, feel the love and invite them in — but if you see yellow arches on the wrapper, you don’t have to eat them! 

My Love,

Sue

sue@ccontario.com