Mixed Signals

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. 
         Who can understand it? 
Jeremiah 17:9

I don’t usually lead off my blog with thoughts related to my treatments or physical situation — I’m way too private for all of that. However, a conversation was had this week and I knew immediately that it should be the subject of my writing. Here is how it happened…

The chemotherapy I’ve had this summer has left me with some annoying neuropathy in my hands and feet. Often, as we crawl into bed at night, I apologize to my husband for my cold feet. The other night I even asked him if he would warm them up from their frost-bitten state. He grabbed ahold of my feet and smiled and said, “Honey your feet are just as warm as the rest of your body. Your nerves are sending you wrong signals — you just can’t trust them right now.”  My mouth said something like, “No, my toes are falling off, you need to hold them!” But, my mind knew he was completely right and far more than just about nerves in my feet. 

We receive so many signals every day — some can be trusted, but many cannot. We send and receive signals in our relationships daily, and often misinterpret those signals. If our spouse is silent, we may take it personally. If a co-worker is more direct than usual, we wonder what we did wrong rather than wonder what might have frustrated their day. These mixed-up signals cause us all kinds of problems.

But there are other relational signals in life that carry a bigger threat. Those are the signals related to how we interact with and understand the heart of God. We can easily misinterpret our circumstances to be an indicator of God’s love for us — this gets us into big trouble and can severely damage our faith. 

The nation of Israel completely mis-read their circumstances as they were traveling through the Wilderness on their way to the land God promised them. Moses recounted this in Deuteronomy: 

You grumbled in your tents and said, “The LORD hates us; so he brought us out of Egypt to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us.” (Deut. 1:27) 

Isn’t that just what we do? We find ourselves in a challenging circumstance and mis-read the whole episode! We think perhaps God is punishing us — or brought this into our lives because He’s disappointed in us. Or we convince ourselves that God has given up on us and has lost interest in protecting us.

That is exactly how Israel read their situation — but, just like my own assessment of my toes — they were 100% wrong. Here is a passage later in Deuteronomy that expresses the reality of what was going on:

Because he loved your forefathers and chose their descendants after them, he brought you out of Egypt by his Presence and his great strength, to drive out before you nations greater and stronger than you and to bring you into their land to give it to you for your inheritance, as it is today. (Deut. 4:37-38)

Do you see the reality in those two passages? Israel interpreted as hate what God was doing out of love. Those are two opposites just like the cold and hot in my toes! 

Back to that bed-time conversation — if I had simply checked out the reality of the situation by touching my feet rather than relying on how they felt, I would have known the truth. I would have been able to say, “those slippery nerves are lying to me again tonight!” And the same is true for our uncomfortable circumstances in life. If we would just check out the reality of the situation by consuming a steady diet of the Bible (God’s love letter to us), rather than relying on how we feel, we would know the truth. The truth is that crummy circumstances happen to everyone, but God said He would never leave us or forsake us. Knowing the truth empowers us to press through a great many circumstances in life.

As a personal update, neuropathy aside, I have made a lot of progress this week and think I could label myself at about 95% of the former me in terms of energy, thinking ability, ambition, etc. I just have to be careful how I use my fingers (which means not really use them) because of the delicacy of my nails. This will resolve itself with time and it’s a fairly small price to pay for the effective job that the chemo did for me. I’ll share more about that next week. 

My Love & Blessings,

Sue

sue@ccontario.com

Getting into Position

“So when the king’s order was proclaimed…Esther also was taken into the
king’s palace and put in custody of Hegai, who had charge of the women.” 
Esther 2:8

Do you enjoy a good football game? Most of the time I would say that I do — although sometimes I enjoy the good nap that happens during the good football game more. Since Paul and I were both born in Minnesota we really have no choice in team loyalty — as Paul says, we were born with the Vikings tattoo. This past Sunday was our first opportunity to catch a game this season. Rarely do they play well through the entire season, but somehow we just keep watching. They did pull off a win this week — so far so good! 

Each player on a football team knows exactly what their position is and why they are there. This is no surprise to them. Sometimes players know their position from middle school on up. They’re usually hired for their position. This is how football works. This is NOT how our spiritual lives work.

I’m thinking about Esther again this week since we’ll be studying chapter two on Friday. In a matter of ten short verses a young Jewish girl — Hadassah by her Hebrew name, Esther by her Persian name — went from being an orphan to becoming the Queen of Persia. Talk about a change in position! There was nothing in her middle school years that could have prepared her for that position in life. 

As we move on to chapter three, the significance of Esther’s access to the King of Persia becomes clear — but that’s not yet the case in chapter two. Her change in position just seems like a random, but fortunate, turn-of-events.

This causes us to consider the position we find ourselves in right now in life. Maybe you can relate to the NFL quarterback in that from middle school until now God has placed you right where you always expected Him to place you. But maybe you’re like the rest of us — you’re often perplexed as to why you are where you are, why you are doing what you are doing, how you got to this place anyway. You’re in a chapter two position, where you don’t really understand the significance of where God has placed you and you may even wonder if you’ve made a wrong turn somewhere.

If that resonates with you, I’d like to offer a couple of thoughts. 

• Sometimes God allows turns-of-events toward the positive, like Esther’s experience; and sometimes toward the negative, like, for example, Corrie ten Boom’s experience. Both positive and negative placements can still be God working behind the scenes of our lives.

• Our chapter two experiences in life can be short or long — what I mean is, the length of time that goes by until we perceive the significance of why God has put us into the position He has can be quite short or very long.

• The best thing we can do while living out the position God has placed us in, is to be faithful regardless of if we like our current position or not. We need to trust in the truthfulness of Romans 8:28

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together

for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

As for me, I've been ushered into a new position in life. In most ways, I'm still in a chapter two experience, not fully understanding the significance of all that God is doing behind the scenes. But I am confident that all will be made clear as I simply continue to move forward and try to be as faithful as possible in this chapter.

If you think to pray for me, I am still fussing with certain side-effects of the chemo, even though it’s been almost 30 days since my last treatment. I know that it won’t always be this way…but prayers for patience and perseverance would be appreciated!

My Love & Blessings,

Sue

sue@ccontario.com

The Hidden Hand of God

 “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” 
Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)

Our family just enjoyed a wedding weekend filled with good food, cute little kids, a gorgeous bride, all the customary emotions, and all the fatigue! The next day we said our final goodbye to our girl who will be settling into the life of a military wife on the opposite coast. This is a whole new experience for us. So, as I write, if you are expecting an introspective post about marriage or family or emotions you might be disappointed — or may be relieved — depending on what you like to read.

What is actually on my mind is a little piece of wedding advice that recently came across my path. Someone had polled hundreds of wedding guests and discovered that the number one gift that a wedding couple can give back to their invited guests is to shorten the number of minutes between ceremony and food to single digits. Apparently, once the Mr. & Mrs. are pronounced, wedding guests are suddenly famished and start looking around for food!

In our case, I knew that Alyssa and John had planned for the feasting to begin immediately, and it did! They were barely down the grassy isle and the announcement was made as to where the dinner line would form. Here is where this is all going — before and during the ceremony, I hadn’t been aware of the caterer setting up the dinner at all, even though the serving tables were arranged only fifty feet away. The catering ladies had come on the property with such stealth, and worked in the shadows of the porch so silently, that when the announcement was made, my inner wedding coordinator alarms went off. The first thing I did was look in the direction where I knew the dinner would be staged with the fear of seeing empty tables. But, NO! Everything was hot and ready, having been silently prepared for us in plain sight, but completely without our notice.

Speaking of working unnoticed, the subtitle for our next Women of the Word study in the book of Esther is When God Works in the Shadows. I don’t mean to be intentionally irreverent by drawing a parallel between the work the catering ladies did this weekend and the work that God does in our lives, but sometimes those simple analogies just hit the spot.

Maybe you’ve gone through a season where you just didn’t feel God’s presence in your life. Maybe you felt quite alone, as if God was extraordinarily distant. Maybe you worried about a great many things, believing you would glance over your shoulder only to find empty tables that would confirm your greatest fears that God had indeed left you to yourself — no longer interested or involved in your life. Maybe you feel all these things right now!

During the time of Esther, the Hebrew nation had been carried into exile and had lost so much — their land — their place of worship — even their identity as they were integrated into other nations. For the most part, I’m sure they didn't feel God’s presence in their lives. To confirm this general sense, it’s noteworthy that the name of God isn’t even mentioned in the book of Esther. But, just like the stealthy caterers working on the covered patio, God was there, setting things up and orchestrating people, places, and events for the benefit of His beloved. 

In our lives, we often don’t see or appreciate the hidden hand of God until we look back with perspective. That is when we understand the work He has actually done on our behalf. Acknowledging and celebrating what God has done in the shadows of our lives helps our faith to flourish in the present as we realize that God is always working, even when we can’t (or won’t) see Him, or notice Him, or feel His presence.

As a personal update, I can already look back with perspective after five months of treatment and see how God has been silently arranging things in my life to show his steadfast love toward me. In my opinion, any type of medical treatment is usually a yucky season, but if we can see the hidden hand of God it encourages our faith. 

I’ll give you one small example — on Monday I started a new-to-me treatment, which I will continue for the next five weeks. When I called to make the appointment, I found out that the very day I would need to begin treatment would be the first day ever this treatment would be made available at our local hospital in Fruitland, saving me a trip to Nampa or Boise. It’s a very small thing, but I’m just going to accept it as the hidden hand of God working unnoticed in the shadows of my life. 

Maybe you would benefit from pondering the hidden hand of God in your own life in the recent past. You may find that it’s a real faith booster!

My Love & Blessings,

Sue

sue@ccontario.com

Perspective

“For God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction.” 
Genesis 41:52

My yearly Bible reading plan runs from August to August, so I just finished Genesis this week. The life of Joseph is one of my favorite parts of that book. The way I see it, Joseph’s character was mostly impeccable throughout his life. I suppose he could have been a bit more winsome in sharing his dream about his entire family bowing down to him — but he was, after all, a teenager and I keep a few pass cards at the ready for young men in that season of life.

Joseph earns points in my book for how he just kept rolling through the multiple injustices that came his way! First, the cruel rejection of his brothers (Gen. 37) must have been a trial of monumental proportions in his young life. Just imagine being sold by your own brothers! Yet, once sold as a slave in Egypt to Potiphar, he proved himself so useful that even Potiphar attested that the Lord was with him (Gen. 39:3).

Then came the false sexual abuse accusation from Potiphar’s wife, which landed Joseph in prison. But again, he landed on his feet. Genesis 39:21 says, “But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.” That favor basically meant that Joseph became the overseer of all of the prisoners, even though he was himself a captive.

A third major disappointment closed in on him after he accurately interpreted two dreams from two of his fellow prisoners. The chief baker was released and executed (as predicted), and the chief cup-bearer was restored to his position, just as Joseph had interpreted from his dream. However, rather than mentioning Joseph's plight to Pharoah, the cup-bearer forgot all about him — FOR TWO MORE YEARS!

Those were three sizable afflictions in Joseph’s life. We would describe him as someone who just couldn’t seem to catch a break — and yet, Joseph continued to display patience and perseverance and hopefulness in the midst of his afflictions. 

After those final two years in prison, when Pharaoh was in need of an interpreter-of-dreams himself, the chief cup-bearer’s memory returned. He told Pharaoh that he once knew a guy in prison who had the exact skill set required. Joseph proved useful, was finally released and began a new life again, this time serving at the highest level of Egyptian government. 

Obviously, there is much more to the story, but eventually He was given a wife who bore him two sons and this whole blog post was inspired by the name that Joseph gave to his second son. Look at what came out of his mouth: 

The name of the second he called Ephraim, “For God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction.” (Genesis 41:52)

I read that phrase this week and had to put my Bible down and sit and think for a bit. After a decade of trials, Joseph could still see the hand of God doing good things in his life. This type of perspective doesn’t come automatically to everyone. It is a choice to see life through the lens of gloom and doom, or to see the good things God is doing in our lives even in the land of our afflictions. 

Joseph’s choice to see God’s hand working in his life had become a life-long habit. In fact, even after his father, Jacob died Joseph was able to tell his brothers, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” (Gen. 50:20)

Maybe you are inspired along with me by Joseph’s attitude. Most of us face a land of affliction at some point in our lives — or at several points in our lives. Being able to say, God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction can make the difference between a happy and hopeful life or a gloomy and glum life.

My personal update is that my chemo train has arrived at its final destination two weeks early. My oncologist and I both agreed to move the finish line up by a few weeks. This isn’t the way I envisioned this chemo journey to play out. I always thought I’d gut it out to the last lap while I rang the bell after the final infusion and reveled in the cheers and back-pats of the entire medical staff. It’s slightly anti-climactic to just suddenly be done. But, don’t get me wrong, it’s also quite emotionally satisfying to not face one more infusion after four months of chemo. Phase I is complete and in the books — now we move on to phase II in October.  

Paul and I will be up in LaGrande this weekend celebrating the wedding of our daughter (another reason I am quite happy to be done with chemo) and we’ll be back early next week. Since I’m beginning to teach the book of Esther next week, I may or may not do a weekly update for the next month. If I do, it may have quite a bit to do with Esther and the Persian Empire. 

My Love & Blessings,

Sue

sue@ccontario.com

Planted on Purpose

“Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him,
 and to which God has called him.”
1 Corinthians 7:17

I really love the end-of-August vibe. Most families have begun a back-to-school structure that usually has a calming effect. Most of the summer heat has subsided and we’re relieved to say good-bye to triple digits. Most of the mornings have that glorious crisp feel that we’ve been craving since the Fourth of July, and a cup of coffee on the porch returns to the wake-up routine.

Another thing I love about the end of August is the produce! I have some expert gardeners in my family and I love those texts asking if I’d like some of their bounty. The garden table at our church is also a happy place right about now — I love to snatch some peppers or cucumbers that someone grew with care and decided to share. 

A successful garden doesn’t just happen on its own, you know. A successful garden is planned and each square foot is purposefully assigned to some variety of vegetable or fruit in order to give it the best opportunity to reach its full potential. The same is true with our spiritual lives. God is a master gardener, and although we usually think we’re making all of our own decisions, and we don’t often consider that God is planting His people in the perfect spot for their growth, the Bible says that He does.

Look at this verse from the Apostle Paul’s speech on Mars Hill in Athens: “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.” (Acts 17:26 NIV) Do you ever stop to consider that God planted you right where you are? That He placed you right in this time that you’re living? You could have been planted anywhere else on the world’s timeline, but God determined that you would live right here, right now. God is purposeful in his planting.

King David understood God’s calling on his life for the time that he was planted in. Earlier in the book of Acts, Paul explained this, “For when David had served God's purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his fathers.” (Acts 13:36) It inspires me to read that David served God’s purpose in his own generation. If David served a purpose, so can I, and so can you! Serving God’s purpose gives even more dimension to our theme verse about the life assigned to us. The point of this life assigned to us is to serve God’s purpose. 

In the same way that we have such a vast array of produce that originates from the same garden space, we have so many different purposes that have been assigned to us in the very time and place that we’re living. Some of you are reading this from the Treasure Valley; but some are reading from another country. You’re not floating through life without purpose. God has planted you on purpose so that you can fulfill His purpose in your own generation. 

Here is one final thought on how we serve God’s purpose from Philippians 2:13 It is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. So, the happy summary is that 1) God has planted you on purpose, 2) He is the one who works in you to fulfill that purpose. All you have to do is yield to His work and be faithful regardless of the challenges or difficulties that you face.

My personal update is that my providers decided I should take a week off of chemo. I have two infusions scheduled for the coming weeks, but I’ll find out next week if they will happen or not. By faith, I have scheduled a fall Women of the Word Bible Study on the book of Esther (which was rescheduled from May), and that will begin on September 13th and run for five weeks. I’m confident the Lord will give me strength for that short session and I’m really eager to teach again!

My Love & Blessings,

Sue

sue@ccontario.com

Grace

“God is able to make all grace abound to you, 
so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times,
 you may abound in every good work.”
2 Corinthians 9:8

We have six women who have been born-into our family as daughters or grand-daughters. Three of them have the middle name of Grace — that’s right — half of our female progeny share the same middle name. That makes it a very special name for us.

Grace is just an all around fantastic word. It’s useful in so many ways. It can mean beauty and elegance — like a ballerina. It can denote charm and poise in a person — think Grace Kelly. Then there are the actions of thankfulness and blessing — as in saying grace. 

Additionally, in spiritual vocabulary, we often define grace as ‘unmerited favor’.  It means receiving from God something we don’t deserve. We do not deserve, and neither can we earn God’s forgiveness or a place within His family. Yet it is His grace, through faith, that opens the door for both those blessings. Do you see what a fantastic word it is?

But there is yet another application of the word grace that is at play in our focus verse today — the empowering work of God in our lives to do something, endure something, share something, live through something. Have you ever looked at someone else’s difficult situation in life and said to yourself, I could never do that? The truth is, you’re right, you couldn’t do that unless God’s grace was given to you for that situation. That’s what we call grace that enables us to do.

In this life on earth, God allows His kids to walk through situations where they desperately need His grace in order to not only survive, but also to abound. That’s what the Apostle Paul was talking about in the verse I quoted above — God is able to make His grace abound to us, so that we can turn around and abound in every good work. I have observed that it is in these seasons that we sometimes experience the most fruitfulness.  This is the practical and helpful use of the word grace.

Think about your own life for a moment:

• What challenges are you facing that require God's grace?

• Are you already aware of God’s grace operating in your life?

• If you’re walking through something difficult, have you asked for God’s grace to abound toward you? 

I think this verse written to the Corinthians can be snatched from its passage as a promise of sorts — right along with Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” God has not always promised to give us answers, but He has always promised to give us grace! Give it a try — let God’s grace abound in your life!

As far as an update on me — I’m asking the Lord for His grace to abound toward me and I think He’s been doing a good work. Paul and I are actually in McCall, ID for a couple nights, enjoying our planned August get-away. Since we can’t be far from the clinic this summer, we decided to at least go somewhere each month and what’s not to love about McCall! We’ll be back in town for the weekend!

My Love,

Sue

sue@ccontario.com